Aight so I know this is cray and whatever but I gotta say, me and Clooney are chill now. We’re straight chillin in my den playing some strip poker, its hot. whatever clooney, we’re cool now i forgive u just dont fuck with me again or I swear I’ll chop your 3 inch dick in half. fuck im horny.
i invited drake 2 my cabo house 4 the weekend we partying. drake is so fine, we r working on a collaboration together, watch out world, meryl’s coming out with some tracks later this year. i got a yeast infection from 2 much hot tubbin, YOLO.
GOOD THING IM RICH GONNA GO CALL UP MY LIPO GUY.
u srrsly thoght i looked this good without lipo? ur retarded fuck you i’m drunk
whatever bullock u taste like ass any way
so whattttttt we make out at a party whatever i make out with everyone when i do E. me and bullock we’re all clubbin and grinding in vegas and doing E and she straight up grabs me and starts face fucking me with her face like some cique du soleil shit. it was hot but like i’m not gay or anything, id kno if i was gay im 62 id know by now
i miss her and she aint txtn me back fuck it
These bitches crazy
viola Y WONT U LET ME BUM A CIGARRETTE COME ON U KNOW I ONLY SMOKE WHEN IM DRINKING
thinking about calling hoffman 2 come ova
WE WERE ALL IN DOUBT TOGETHER
NOW WE DRUNK
DONT GIVE A FUCK
I STAY UP AT NIGHT AND I PRACTICE MY LINES DRINKIN STRAIGHT TRIPLE SEC AND I CHECK OUT HOW FINE MY BODY IS IN THE MIRROR AND I WONDER WHY NO ONE LOVIN THIS UP ALL THE TIME. PHILLIP SEYMOUR HOFFMEN Y DO U SAY UR GONNA COME OVER WHEN U NEVER DO? YY DO U SEX ME LIKE CRAZY AND DONT RETURN MY TEXTS?
I MAY B THE IRON LADY BUT MY HEART ISNT IRON ITS MADE OF BLOOD
when i was filming the devil wear prada i was like “who the fuck wears prada? i wipe my ass with prada.” prada is some ghetto shit. all im wearin is pure silk or nothing as in im usually naked
today i was wearin my maxi dress ridin my dope ass bicycle rockin my straw hat and bitches were so jealousssssss and pouring haterade all over my fine ass
I’m over this connecticut bullshit.
tomorrow imma take my jet 2 pick up willis WE GOING TO DUBAI MOTHERFUCKERS. u know i pre game
I dont speak french, fuck that, but for real my boi jean dujardin is my boi 4 life. when we chill we can’t talk to each other so we just stare at each other real hard and then fuck shit up. tonight we gon bash the windows of one of Swentin’s cars. i fucking hate that bitch she’s lucky her cars the only thing imma bash in with a baseball bat
fuck tilda fuck that shit she and clooney should fuck each others faces they deserve each other
HILARY mother fucking CLINTON
I love this bitch but she crazy. She comes over to my place in malibu with a bucket of yay and some nines and is like “let me in, bitch”.
whiskey + coke + coke + guns + bitch shot me in the foot but I don’t even care we’re doing it again tomorrow